Are people with bipolar disorder more likely to be unfaithful in a relationship?

Mania and hypomania are associated with lowered inhibitions and increased sex drive, so does that mean that we're likely to cheat on our partners? It's something I'm asked a lot by readers who are considering entering into a relationship with somebody who suffers from bipolar disorder.

A scary number of websites are quick to condemn us despite an absence of any modern data on the topic. Is it reasonable to assume that we're not capable of monogamy or is the stereotype vastly inaccurate?

The first thing I'd say is that every bipolar person is an individual. We have a diverse range of moral values just like any group within society. Some of us greatly value monogamy and trust, whilst others have more casual attitudes towards commitment. Therefore statistically, some of us are bound to be more trustworthy than your average scoundrel.

The second important thing to note is that people with bipolar disorder are not constantly manic. If there is an increased risk of unfaithfulness as a result of bipolar disorder, it will be limited to times when that sufferer is experiencing a period of elevated mood. Talk to your prospective partner, find out how well he/she is managing the disorder and use that to inform your judgement. Some people undergoing treatment for bipolar disorder never experience further periods of mania in their entire lifetime.

Something which is often overlooked when people are ranting about the sexually reckless behaviour of people with bipolar disorder, is that periods of depression are associated with decreased self-esteem and decreased interest in sex. This means that during some periods of time, a bipolar person is much less likely to cheat than a stable person. However having to watch a partner suffer from depression can be a painful experience in itself. I'd rather my partner had casual sex than felt suicidal.

Also, an increased risk of making a reckless mistake when sick, does not translate to an increased risk of ongoing affairs and deception. I can see no logical reason for believing that a person with bipolar disorder would be more likely to be dishonest and untrustworthy on a day to day basic, than your average healthy person.

In summary, get to know the person you want to date. Find out about their fundamental attitude towards relationships and monogamy. Determine how well they are managing their condition. Find out what you can do to help and develop plans for dealing with difficult times. Don't simply write someone off because he or she happens to suffer from bipolar disorder - you could be missing out on a wonderful, healthy relationship.

Are bipolar women the natural target of the abusive male?

An aspect of mental health which is often neglected is the exploitation we can expect from bullies in society. Resources focus on our intrinsic experiences and often those of our friends and family; thankfully discrimination is becoming more widely addressed; but nobody ever warned me that the lesser well-meaning people in society would see a diagnosis of bipolar disorder as a big flag marked, "Abuse me."

A mental illness is like a "buy one get one free" for a bully, because in general we are vulnerable lot who can be easier to manipulate than others, but also, if we ever try to stand up to them they can use our diagnoses to try and discredit our voices.

I've seen this happen to people with mental health problems professionally, in housing situations and most prominently in sexual relationships. Psychologically abusive men seems to flock towards mentally ill women because "No dear, you're just a bit manic" is such a convenient deflection.

Perhaps when we are taught how to spot the early warning signs of mania and depression, we should also be taught how to recognise a bully and successfully remove one from our lives before they get too strong a hold.

The symptoms of bipolar disorder - the highs, the lows, the self-criticism, the guilt - are tough enough to live with without always having to be on our guard for people who want to take advantage of us, yet we do have to be extra vigilant.

On the plus side, those of us being treated for mental health problems tend to have well-developed support networks and have learnt effective coping strategies, which means that if we do become victims of bullying, we are in a relatively strong position to defend ourselves, compared with victims who have never previously needed psychological intervention.

Fury at The Sun's "Killer Schizo" story

Yesterday The Sun printed a damaging and ignorant story about an escaped woman convicted of manslaughter, Patricia Gillette, who suffers from schizophrenia.

Fury at escape of killer schizo

According to an article by Time to Change, Rethink does not think using the word "schizo" is acceptable. Neither do I.

However my main concern is not about the use of an abbreviation which has become widely used as a derogatory term, but about the misrepresentation of schizophrenia in the press.

Whenever somebody suffering from schizophrenia behaves in a violent way, it gets reported in the press and the word "schizophrenic" is thrown in there like it's a predictable explanation. However there are over 600,000 people with schizophrenia in the UK and the vast majority are not violent and never have been.

Granted, newspapers are more likely to pick up on an escaped killer story than a respectable schizophrenic working in a charity shop, but because of the stigma surrounding mental health, I would like to see stories such as that of Patricia Gillette, written up in such a way that they don't propagate inaccurate negative attitudes towards people with schizophrenia.

One example might be, "Patricia Gillette is one of the minority of criminals who suffer from schizophrenia. Schizophrenic people are 14 times more likely to be the victim of violence than the perpetrator." ¹

Update 18/11/2009 17:30:
The Sun have retitled the article "Fury at shop escape of killer"

References:
Schizophrenia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Should sexuality be included in the 2011 Census?

What do you think about this?
Census may ask individuals to disclose sexual preference

The Equality and Human Rights Commission argues that knowing how many homosexuals there are in Britain, and what jobs they do, will improve equality legislation. They say by excluding the question it would be "an indication of invisibility" and "a major obstacle to measuring progress on tackling discrimination."

The Office for National Statistics believe the question would be unlikely to provide a true picture because sexuality is so complex. 390,127 people (almost 0.8 percent) stated their religion as Jedi on their 2001 Census forms, which shows how misleading census data can be.

Ann Widdecombe says, "It is people’s own business. It is not anyone else’s business and I don’t see why anyone should be asked to declare it."