Four Views - How do lesbians have sex?

How do lesbians have sex? Does it even count?

This is part of a series of questions about lesbianism and mental health, answered by a varied selection of panellists.

Andie* - Bisexual, Female, Maths and Philosophy Student (20) - says…
I’ve had lesbian sex in a fairly experimental, mechanical way, and it never quite felt like I’d had sex in the same way as sleeping with men had. After all, it only involved things I would have called foreplay with a man. I theorized that to really feel I’d had sex I would need to introduce penetrative sex toys. Then I slept with a woman I was in love with, and it was totally different. Cliched but true. I guess it didn’t differ in the technicalities to my previous encounters, but I could not have described it as anything except sex.

Jimbo* - Straight, Male Football Hooligan (23) - says…
Does it ever count? Surely anything that involves the touching/massaging of either person’s sexual organs constitutes sex. If fellatio is sex, then surely so is lesbian sex. If it’s resulting in some lucky lady screaming the house down in ecstasy, then it can’t be far off right? If it turns out it doesn’t count, then a lot of pornographers are going to go out of business.
The other question - ‘How do they do it?’ - is one that most men have spent hours thinking, pondering and probably self-deluding themselves about. I, personally, am certain that it involves hundreds of kinky toys, exotic positions, and the above related screaming the house down, generally in an office or hospital environment. Preferably with a smug looking Welsh man watching on.

Megan* - Straight female computer scientist (25) - says…
I honestly don't know how lesbians have sex. I assume that they do everything that straight people do together, except for the actual penetration and even then I imagine sex toys might be involved. If you define sex as the functional baby-making bit then I suppose lesbian sex isn't real but that's not what sex is. Real sex is the physical expression of what people mean to each other, whether that's love or the feelings that goes with a one night stand. I do wonder however, whether girls who have sex with each other, reach that stage where you feel you desperately want to go all the way and experience frustration that they can't, or is the knowledge that that's not an option enough to stop those feelings arising?

Kit - Bisexual, Genderqueer English and Classic Student (22) - says…
Lesbian sex definitely counts!
Lesbians have sex the way most other people do – with affection, hugging and kissing, nudity, intimacy, manual and oral stimulation. Some lesbians use dildos, but then again some don’t bother. The only major difference is the absence of a penis. That’s why people assume it’s ‘not really sex’, because it doesn’t involve penetration. I personally count ‘sex’ as any genital touching, done to and by either partner, or both. I don’t believe the penis is essential to female pleasure – I count sex with boys the same way.

Mrs X - Straight female housewife and mother of an alleged lesbian (53) - says…
Sex involves equipment that girls simply don't have. I know that women who think they're gay think they're having sex but that is because they are virgins who have no appreciation of what making love actually is. While I'm sure all this cuddling is very enjoyable, it doesn't make grandchildren.

Lucy - Lesbian Linguist and former president of LGBsoc (20) - says…
Lesbians do have sex. How is a mystery to me, but it happens and there is nothing we mere mortals can do about it. No, it doesn't make babies. Yes it counts because surely anything with the kind of emotion lesbians seem to put into everything, we couldn't let it all go to waste.

Rob - Straight, Male Political Therorist (25) - says…
Clearly lesbians have sex. Whether they can f--- is perhaps another matter.

See also:
1. In your experience, how can you tell whether or not a girl is gay?
2. Everybody is bisexual. Discuss.
3. Sexuality and mental health are closely related. Discuss.