Lesbianism not counted as adultery
I looked up adultery law as research for a satirical article called "Law rules lesbianism is not cheating" and was shocked to find that it actually is not counted as adultery under UK law.
The phenomenon I was intending to ridicule was the modern attitude that it's OK for a woman to cheat on her boyfriend as long as it's with another woman. I had not expected to find that echoed in current law, which classifies lesbian affairs as "unreasonable behaviour" rather than adultery, even though the dictionary defines adultery as:
voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.And yes, most dictionaries acknowledge that sexual intercourse is a superordinate term that can include all manner of sexual activities not limited to penis-vagina penetration.
As far as I can tell, both adultery and unreasonable behaviour are grounds for a fast-track divorce, but I don't think the wording is particularly helpful in valuing homosexuality as a practice just as valid as heterosexuality.
6 comments:
If I recall correctly and this might have a baring on why the laws read the way they do goes back a bit in time. Bible. Lesbianism isn't mentioned much at all, where man with man is. Are we dealing with a question of what is sinful in the laws? A carry over with the Christen ethics? I don't like the sounds of religion creeping in any way, shape, or fashion into laws, however at the heart of them, any of the religions, are ways to live, which are laws to live by. But, one should consider past times with current times. The Bible isn't being rewritten and won't be.
Cheating is cheating and what constitutes such should be between the people involved. My marriage contract with my wife is always changing, just as we do. We just have to make sure we're both on the same page.
I know for a fact gender with gender is cultural. A lesbian friend did her honors dissertation on Native Americans and homosexual behavior in their cultural settings. Interesting to say the least. She's still very active and has her Doctorate now.
PostPaleo's comments are pretty interesting - did you know that Queen Victoria stamped male homosexuality as a terrible sin, but refused to believe that lesbianism existed - therefore it was never a criminal offence?
Hate to stick to the stereotype, but I don't think I'd be too bothered if my wife had an affair with another woman. I really wouldn't. The retarded neanderthal in me would think it was 'hot' and the pragmatist would think: 'At least she's not getting an STD or knocked up by another guy.'
And if she LEFT me for another women... Well, considering I think women are generally cleaner, nicer, better conversationalists and snappier dressers, I could hardly blame her!
Not trying to be flippant. I can see your point that attitudes like mine certainly seem to suggest that I don't think lesbianism is as valid as heterosexuality because I wouldn't be upset if my wife had an affair with another girl.
Despite thinking that, I do actually agree with you. The 'cheating' bit is the emotional betrayal and that would heart whatever sex the cheating when on with, since I'm a firm believer that you fall in love with a person, not a gender (which is why I think labels like straight, bi, queer, gay are all dumb.)
Thank you both for your interesting comments.
It looks as though the law is based on historical (and therefore religious) values and the wording hasn't really been called into question, since gay activists have had more important things to do with their time such as fight for their rights to adopt, or in some countries, even their right to live.
With respect to Roland's comments about STDs, I think that's somewhat naive. Whilst lesbians are certainly one of the more low risk groups, the incidence of STDs even among gold star lesbians is much higher than originally thought, or generally perceived by the non-lesbian population.
Gosh, how do you get to be a gold star lesbian? :-)
You're absolutely right - I guess all sorts of icky can be transmitted by oral/fingering... Less than male/male and male/female, but still not worth taking risks with.
It's still riskier with a guy, though... And then there are other risks:
"Honey! Amazing news! We're pregnant!"
"Erm... Darling? I had a vasectemy three years ago, remember?"
"Oh, shit... Well, since you know I'm pregnant, I guess there's something I need to tell you about all that time I've been spending with your mate Gary..."
Yeah that and sharing your dildo.
I used to be offended when the free protection brigade gave me condoms at gay nights but now I realise that they weren't trying to say "Get out you straight time-waster!"
A gold star is a lesbian who's never slept with a man. Now there's potential to really put the "surprise" in "surprise pregnancy!"
Small add on the Biblical take on this. As a general rule it was still a male dominated society (yeah ok, not much changed, yet) Women were a type of commodity, it didn't much matter if she might be inclined to be with another woman, she still had to produce the off spring to make the group, tribe, stronger. Males it is a bit easier to see where there is the problem and hence the bias. Which also allowed for their ways of living to be potentially more dominate in their sphere of influence and their expanding boundary's. Some of this goes much further back then just the record of the Bible and I mean way back to unrecorded times. So much is dependant and still is on making the band, tribe stronger and numbers count. It's like now, don't we really have enough people? Hell we can't take care of what we have on the face of the earth properly.
By the way, I think bisexual to be a very beautiful thing. What could be better then to be able to relate on such a level with both sexes? There is that touch of intimacy that lends to a relationship. I'm actually envious.
The wife and I have discussed many bents to our marriage contract. If either of us found it to be appealing, as in agreement, we would simply do it. The discussion, while you may well think this sexist, of a third wife has come up more then once and she brought it up. I on the other hand lived with two young ladies in my past. I know better, it might sound like a man's dream come true, but it was not. It hasn't been ruled out totally. The opposite? I wouldn't rule that out either. But if such a thing would be considered seriously, either type, some long hard thought would be need to be put into it for it to actually work. And yes I do know of a woman with two husbands and it works. I talk to one of the husbands all of the time, the other is in Iraq and have yet to meet him on line.
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