The Blame Game
Do men always play the victim when a woman stands up to them, or is it just when I do it?
For example:
Me: "I am not happy about you flattening that small child with your sledge hammer."
He: "I can't believe you are being so confrontational about this. Why are you so rude? You have ruined my evening."
4 comments:
Haha lol and I normally get 'your starting an argument again, its all in your head, can we just leave it please'...
No its not just you, I still refuse to not stand up for what I believe, my mum commited suicide in April 2009, and my uncle followed 3 weeks later, I'm being monitored for bipolar and to be honest I think personally I'm very much bi-polar, but aware of my moods, which makes me more sane than most men who throw the whole 'head game' scenario's into play when confronted!
Keep standing for what you believe, oh, and thank you for such a wonderful site :-) xx
Kind regards
Dannii xx
Very sorry to hear about your losses. Let's hope that being monitored gets you access to the right support, should you need it.
No... I don't think this a male trait at all. My boyfriend is extremely supportive and would never dismiss my ideas out of hand. Some girls however... Well, let's just say they can often be the worst offenders.
I suppose it doesn't help that sometimes I do second guess myself and say later 'I didn't take my meds and I'm sorry', and to be honest, sometimes I am being deliberately awkward and confrontational so if a man said that to me he might be right.
Anyway, I really don't think this is a male trait, but it definitely is a trait of some people and it does really wind me up sometimes!
There is a wonderful site called
Narcissim 101.
http://www.narcissism101.com/
This is from that site:
"Jealousy and possessiveness
Excessive need to feel special, adored, loved, appreciated, or admired
Rage attacks when you do not sufficiently meet his/her needs
Controlling behaviors (trying to control how you spend your time, who you talk to, how you dress, etc.)
Inflated self-esteem, or grandiosity (bragging, "fishing" for compliments)
Dramatic, insecure behaviors
Expecting you to take responsibility for making him/her feel better about him/herself
Blaming you for behaviors or feelings (i.e., "YOU made me do this," or "YOU made me feel this way.")
Not taking responsibility for angry behavior and justifying angry outbursts
An attitude that demonstrates "the world revolves around me" and "you need to cater to my ideas, opinions, thoughts, and feelings."
An unwillingness to reflect on his/her own behaviors"
Narcissists are also known to get violent when criticized, and will then blame YOU for their loss of control. Narcissists can be male or female. A healthy person can stand to be criticized (see:
http://www.wikihow.com/Accept-Criticism-With-Grace-and-Appreciation
Also, people who are verbally abusive will always turn it back on you. An excellent book on the topic is "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans.
Finally, one thing that IS uniquely male is mansplaining. Zuska write a WONDERFUL blog about this at:
http://scienceblogs.com/thusspakezuska/2010/01/you_may_be_a_mansplainer_if.php
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